Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Like most girls I know, I love to shop. I have gotten myself into some trouble because of my shopping addiction. Not any financial trouble, just a scolding from my mom about the fact that I need to spend my money wisely especially because of the current state of the economy. It's so hard for me to see a cute shirt or pair of pants and not buy it. I was recently reprimanded for trying to expand my wardrobe yet again to compensate for my style change. I have taken to wearing button downs and ties. I have two button downs and four ties as of now. I tried to increase the number of my button downs to three this weekend but was unsuccessful because I was caught before I could find one that I liked. It also didn't help that I was shopping with my parents at the time. I did get to buy three more ties bringing my total up to four. I now have more variety to choose from and I can mix and match but eventually my button downs need to go in the wash. They don't get dirty because I am very careful when I wear them. The weather also makes sweating in them even less likely. I can get away with wearing them twice each and then washing them. Now I'm completely off the shopping topic and I need to get back on.

Recently I have had a few entertaining shopping trips with my mother. The first one was Saturday the 14th of November. Sears was having a sale on elipticals. My mom has wanted an eliptical since she used one at the gym she used to go to. An eliptical is beneficial to both of us becuase treadmills give my mom shin-splints and they also aggravate mine too. I have shin-splints from 6 years of track and cross-country, I don't know what her excuse is. We found the eliptical that my mom wanted and of course we couldn't find a sales associate anywhere. When you want them they disappear but when you don't they flock around you. Finally we found somebody to help us and it took forever to ring the purchase through because there was a special deal that went along with the sale of the eliptical that my mother picked out. A free exercise ball and a 75 dollar gift certificate were included with our purchase. Eventually we were all checked out and had the eliptical loaded into the back of mom's minivan. We still had the gift certificate to spend. I was adament about getting shoes because those of you who know me know that I am obsessed with shoes. I have a fetish for sensible shoes and I have since I can remember. I literally swoon over a pair of athletic shoes. That fact right there should have alerted me to the fact I'm a lesbian alot sooner than it did. It was so obvious in highschool now that I look back on it. I wore my keys on my belt with a carribeaner, I love jeans and refuse to wear a skirt, I have a large collection of sensible shoes, if that doesn't scream lesbian I don't know what does! Now it is way more obvious especially because I wear ties almost everyday of the week. That's not to mention all of the rainbows that adorn my backpack, body and car. Any way back to the shopping topic.

After picking out a very cool pair of pink converse. Yes, I'm a lesbian and I like pink. I'm am in no way a stereotype. My mom and I were ready to check out with our purchases. My mom had a pair of flip-flops and a red purse. My not so subtle timing of when I stopped carrying a purse should have alerted my mother that something was up. It took all summer and two posters of scantily clad women on my bedroom wall for her to finally ask me. I keep going off topic but I'm okay with it now. We were standing in line at the check out and the woman running the register obviously wasn't a regular cashier. She was having more trouble than usual with sacking items. She was quite entertaining. It was only entertaining because of her attitude. She just laughed at everything she did. When it was finally our turn she was still giggly from the previous customer. Apparently our shoes boxes didn't want to cooperate with her and go into the bag like they should have. Her struggle and the fact that she laughed at herself made checking out very entertaining. While we were walking away I commented to my mom that she reminded me of an older version of Mimi from RENT. There was something about that woman that reminded me of Mimi or maybe it was because this happened the day before I was due to see RENT on tour.

The next shopping trip was a trip to Bed, Bath and Beyond this past Saturday. Before we headed
to West Des Moines we stopped and got our haircut. I've been begging my mom to cut my hair for me because it was way too long and I'm a broke college student who has a mother who will cut my hair for free. She doesn't like cutting my hair because it is so thick. I completely understand. I hated everything about my long hair. It was way too long and so thick that brushing and washing it was becoming difficult. I am now sporting Kate Walsh's signature bob. I make it my own though. I knew what I wanted but I needed a picture of it so the stylist knew exactly what I wanted. I have come home with hair cuts that aren't quite what I wanted too many times in my life. The only person who I knew of that has the cut that I wanted is Kate Walsh. I made it very easy for my stylist. I told her that she was going to have a lot of hair on the floor because I was going short and then I handed her the picture. She was really easy to talk to and she also reminded me a little of my highschool spanish teacher. The pretty one, not the loony old lady who made boys sing spanish love songs to her. The pretty one got hit on at least every day by one or more guys in my class. I really felt bad for her having to deal with that everyday. I kept my mouth shut, and that's as much as I am telling you because my former English teacher reads my blog and she knows the woman I am talking about. I also was suppressing my sexual attraction towards women in highschool so obviously I kept my thoughts to myself. Now, it is a whole different story. I've been likened to a horny teenage boy stuck in a girl's body. I don't know if that came out of my mouth and my friends agreed or it came out of one of their mouths and I agreed but anyway it's a fact so it doesn't really matter who said it first. Back to the topic at hand...

My mom is redoing my room for me for Christmas. She does have one present that is already bought and I have no idea what it is. She says it's something that I want but I haven't asked for it. I'm hoping it's Portia de Rossi but she's married to Ellen Degeneres so that would make it highly unlikely that she is my Christmas present. Besides the mystery present which I'm still trying to guess, Mom doesn't know what to get me this year so redoing my room is the perfect present. It needs a more grown up look. I've been sporting Little Mermaid bedsheets for a while. I picked out a bedset at Bed, Bath and Beyond that is purple and tan stripes. This will go very well with my room because my walls are already tan and I plan on painting two of them purple when we can finally get the basement painted after having to tear out the bottom 18 inches of the drywall due to flood damage and the installation of a new drainage system. There are so many different options for bedding at B,B&B that it is overwhelming. The whole store is overwhelming. There is stuff everywhere. Honestly, if you spend too much time in there I think it is possible to die of sensory overload. I think I was almost there, but luckily we got out before there was any real damage.

The last shopping trip was this past Sunday. Yes, two shopping trips in one weekend. Sundays are usually the grocery shopping days. My mom and I go every week. Usually I don't take my wallet because if I don't have money with me I am less likely to feed my shopping addiction and if I see something that I like, I've forgotten about it by the time we check out so I probably didn't want it that much anyway. This Sunday's shopping trip was different. My dad went with us because he needed new boots and a new coat. We let him wander around in Men's wear while we shopped for groceries on the other side of Wal-mart. When we caught back up with Dad we found him in the shoes looking for a pair of steel-toed boots that he actually likes. Surprisingly, I did not purchase a pair of shoes. I saw a few pairs but I didn't really like any of them enough to spend my precious money on them. I'm still in love with my converse. When we were done in the shoes we made our way to Men's wear so Dad could pick out a coat. I used this distraction to sneak away to the women's clothing to find some button downs that I liked but I was caught and summoned back to Men's wear. On my way back I set my eyes upon the biggest tie collection in a store that I have ever seen besides a Department store. I had hit the mother load of ties in Wal-mart of all places. I don't really care where my ties come from as long as I like the design or color. To my great pleasure there was even a clearance rack. I got two of my ties for a whole six dollars and fifty cents, the other tie cost me a total of eight dollars and fifty cents for a grand total of twenty dollars and seventy three cents including tax. My math may be wrong because I am going from memory. The tie collection was not the most rewarding part of the trip although what was is related to it. My mom actually looked through all of the ties with me and helped me select the two that I got off the clearance rack. What mother would ever imagine shopping for ties with her daughter? My mom is so supportive of me and I am very grateful for her. There are way too many kids who have close minded parents and I am very thankful that my aren't. My mom went back to where my dad was and I stayed still looking through the ties. On another rack I found a beautiful lavender silk tie, that I am wearing right now actually. It is definitely worth every penny of that eight dollars and fifty cents. I would have paid the eighteen dollars that I paid for my first purple striped tie from Target for this beautiful silk creation. I think this tie might be my new love. Look out pink converse!

So, since it's the day before Thanksgiving I thought I would make a list of things that I am thankful for.
1. My open minded family who accepts me for who I am. They love me and I am still who they raised me to be.
2. My open minded mother who will shop for ties with her daughter.
3. This one sounds kind of silly but I am thankful for Shonda Rhimes. She created the characters of Calliope Torres, Erica Hahn and Arizona Robbins. Through these characters' storylines and Callie's journey of figuring out her sexuality, I finally realized that what I was feeling towards other women was attraction. Without them I would still be a very confused straight girl trying to find something attractive in men.
4. I am thankful that I figured out that I'm gay early in life so I have the rest of my life to enjoy true happiness and I have all the time in the world to find that special girl that I will spend the rest of my life with.
5. Last but definitely not least I am thankful for the lesbians in this world who have paved the way for the younger generation. Without you there would be so many of us still in the closet trying our hardest to be straight so we don't end up as lonely cat ladies.

Sorry there are no pictures of my ties, shoes or bedset. My RENT blog has enough pictures to last me for awhile.
Happy Thanksgiving!!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Everything is RENT!

I had the pleasure of catching the matinee performance of RENT the Broadway tour today. In my playbill a note about the plot was provided for those not familiar with the show. Here is what it says: "Benny is Mark and Roger's former roommate. With the help of his wealthy father-in-law, Benny has bought the building in which Mark and Roger live, and the lot next door that is inhabited by a group of homeless people. Benny wants to build a high-tech cyber-arts studio on the property. Toward this end, he plans to clear the homeless from the lot and evict all the tenants from the building, including Mark and Roger. Mark's former lover; Maureen who leaves him for a lawyer named Joanne, schedules a performance protest of Benny's scheme for midnight on Christmas Eve. Benny offers a deal to Mark and Roger: if they convince Maureen to stop her protest, they can stay in the building rent-free. At the end of Act 1, Maureen stages her performance. A riot erupts in the lot, which Mark videotapes. Then Benny padlocks the building, locking out all the tenants. Act 2 begins on New Year's Eve as Mark, Roger and friends attempt to break back into the building. The rest of the act follows the events of the year." That is a really bare synopsis of what really is an amazing show.
To sum up the performance in one word simply would not do the show justice. As a dedicated RENThead I know so many things about RENT that I could dedicate a whole other blog to just RENT trivia. I'm going to start from the beginning...
Sunday November 15th 2009, 1pm Central Standard Time I found myself sitting in the auditorium of the Des Moines Civic center waiting for RENT to begin. The show usually begins ten minutes after the official printed time. I had already bought my souvenir program and Tshirt. (I always buy a program and tshirt from every show that I see.) They were sitting snugly in the canvas drawstring bag that came with my purchase on the floor by my seat. I had checked out the cast board and looked for an understudy announcement. To my delight there were no understudies! I got to see all of the main cast and I was ecstatic! I'll explain my excitement of no understudies in a later blog...

All that needed to happen now was for Adam Pascal to walk on stage and strum a few chords on his fender guitar thus starting this epic rock musical. The crowd erupted in applause at the entrance of each main cast member. I could not believe that I was in the presence of Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal from the original Broadway and movie cast of RENT. This was epic!

I did my research on every cast member on the tour before I even knew it was coming to Des Moines. Anthony(Mark Cohen) and Adam(Roger Davis) were easy. They were in the movie and I had heard them sing on the Original Broadway cast recording. Gwen Stewart(Mrs. Jefferson, Bag lady and female soloist), Michael McElroy(Tom Collins) and Justin Johnson(Angel Dumott Schunard) were easy too. I own the last performance of RENT: Filmed Live on Broadway DVD. Gwen, Michael and Justin were all in the final closing cast of RENT. Gwen is also on the Original Broadway cast recording. The other cast members who were lucky enough to be subjected to youtube were a bit harder. A combination of my computer speakers and simple recording devices, the voices of Nicolette Hart (Maureen Johnson), Haneefah Wood(Joanne Jefferson) and Lexi Lawson(Mimi Marquez) were made to sound like these wonderful talented ladies didn't know how to sing their way out of a paper bag. Some of the recordings are just horrible. I checked out a recording of Nicolette and Haneefah singing my favorite song 'Take me or Leave me' and I was seriously disappointed. I was not looking forward to having my favorite song butchered nor was I looking forward to listening to voices that I simply couldn't stand to hear.

Oh, how I was proven wrong! Lexi Lawson was the first of the three previous ladies to come on stage and sing a number. Her voice blew me away during 'Light My Candle' and again in 'Out Tonight'. This girl can sing! She auditioned for season 8 of American Idol and got all the way to Hollywood week when her agent called her and said that the RENT tour wanted her to play Mimi. I am so glad she took the job! Haneefah Wood was the next to perform. Her duet with Anthony 'The Tango: Maureen' was one of the best I have seen and heard. It doesn't quite match Tracie Thoms, but she was my first Joanne so I'm a little biased. Her only solo number "We're Okay" also couldn't quite match Tracie but it was still amazing. Her vocal power was enough for me to feel the vibration from the speakers everytime she sung. Nicolette was the last of the three ladies to perform. We only see Maureen in silhouette during the first part of act one so when she shows up to do her performance protest 'Over the Moon' all the hype turned into major applause from the audience. I have seen Idina Menzel and Eden Espinosa perform 'Over the Moon' and each performance is a little bit different because each woman plays the character of Maureen in a different way. Nicolette's performance was by far the most entertaining. She put so much energy into her performance and she sung the shit out of the singing parts. She riffed a little different on the line "A Leap of Faith" than how Idina and Eden riffed on it. My biggest fear was that at the end of 'Over the Moon' when Maureen asks the audience to "Moo" with her that nobody would moo. To my delight and great excitement people actually mooed. I'm proud to admit that I was one of those moo-ers. Nicolette really knows how to work a crowd, either that or there were a ton of RENTheads in the audience(RENTheads always moo). I have to give the girl major props for showing her bare ass to thousands of people on an almost daily basis. Maureen moons Benny and the crowd during 'La Vie Boheme'. The next song that I was waiting for was 'Take me or Leave me'. I had to wait through the whole first act and three numbers of the second act until I could see my favorite song performed live right before my eyes. The long wait was totally worth it! Nicolette and Haneefah blew. My. Mind. I can't even put into words how I felt while they were singing that song. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.

I could go through and review the entire show but then this blog post would be enormously long, well longer than it already is. I will eventually review all of the numbers in my concert review for my music class. To sum up my experience: I went in with the attitude that I wasn't going to be impressed by this cast but when I walked out my attitude had done a complete 180. I definitely got my money's worth and then some. After the show I waited in the cold by the stage door to try to get some autographs. I was successful! The first person to walk out was Nicolette. She was one of the people I was hoping to get an autograph from. She signed the playbills of the people ahead of me and thanked them for their compliments without really looking up, then when she got to me she saw my tie that I wearing, looked up and actually said Hi to me. I was on cloud nine for about five minutes until Anthony Rapp came out. He was the second to come out and sadly the last. I snapped a picture of him on my phone but I think I moved it away too fast because all I got was a blur. I was kinda bummed about that but maybe if I go back later tonight I can get pictures and more autographs.
Update: I totally went back to the stage door to get more autographs! I got two more autographs and a picture of Gwen Stewart.
Anthony Rapp came out again but I missed him. John Watson who plays Mr. Jefferson came out first. He gave me crap for not wearing warmer clothes because I looked cold. I proceeded to show him how tiny I am but he still gave me crap anyway! That experience right there made the second trip totally worth it. I will never forget talking to him. Gwen Stewart came out next and she was sadly the last to come out the stage door. I got a picture of her and her autograph. Both she and John stopped to take pictures with everybody. Gwen is very pretty in real life and she's very sweet. I didn't get a chance to tell her how honored I was to be able to see such an amazing show and how it has impacted my life. RENT actually helped me realize that I'm gay and the also helped me come out.
The top picture is all four of my autographs on the inside page of my program. The second picture is Gwen Stewart signing autographs, it's kind of blurry because I took it on my phone. The third picture is Anthony Rapp's autograph. The fourth picture is Nicolette Hart's autograph. The fifth picture is John Watson's autograph. The last picture is Gwen Stewart's autograph.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


In my house we are all very indecisive people. When asked about where the family should go out to eat I usually answer with an "I don't know" or I pick my go to restaurant Okoboji Grill. It's a favorite with the whole family so I know that everyone will be happy if I choose Okoboji. I know that picking Okoboji is technically making a decision but someone has to do it or we would never decide on anything.

I've come to a stand still after my first blog. I know, sad. I simply can't decide what to blog about. Grey's Anatomy is airing a new episode in about 36 minutes (from the time I typed this sentence). I could blog about my reaction to this week's episode, last week's episode, the season as a whole so far (I think I might save this until all 10 episodes of 2009 have aired) or simply blog only about Calzona.

I could also blog about RENT the Broadway Tour. I have tickets for the Sunday matinee. I could blog about my group project in theater class. I could blog about my reaction to Gay Marriage in the media recently. I could blog about my fanfiction, the stories I read, the one I am currently writing, my betareader, or my numerous penpals that I know through the fanfiction website. Or I could blog about any number of things that come to my mind all throughout the day.

I have all of these ideas but I don't know where to start. I don't know which one to blog about first.

Thanks for reading! Til next time,

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

My First Blog

Ok I know the title is lame, but in my defense I came up with a pretty cool title for it last night in the shower. However, the really cool title that I came up with seems to have slipped my mind...
I want to start with a little about me. I'm 19 years old, I have lived in Iowa my entire life, and I have only left temprorarily for vacations and such.

I like the Midwest. It's a great place to grow up but sometimes I feel like I'm trapped. Sometimes I wish I had the best of both worlds. I want to experience the night life and culture in the big city but at the end of the day I want to go home to my quiet house in my small town and just relax. There isn't a whole lot to do in the Des Moines area for a young lesbian under the age of 21. The most exciting thing to do is go to school and hang out with my friends on the weekends. I'm a pretty social person so I try to make school as social as possible because social interactions lead to friends and friends lead to weekend plans. I've got it figured out.

During the week my evenings are filled with obsessively checking facebook, homework, primetime television and checking facebook again. Thursdays are my favorite. I only have one class in the afternoon then I come home and I busy myself for five hours before my epic night of television. From 8pm to 10pm I refuse to be disturbed for any reason other than the potential loss of a life or a natural disaster. Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice have captured my heart and I watch religiously every Thursday. I will be blogging about my reactions to upcoming episodes of Grey's Anatomy.

Now I know this question is forming on your head and if it's not that's ok too, Where do you live? I still live at home with my parents. They don't have the money to send me to school so this is their way of helping me out while I'm in school. I go to a local community college, I got accepted to ISU but chose not to go because it's really expensive. After I graduate I'm transferring to a private college about 15 miles from where I live. My plan is to get into Des Moines University's School of Osteopathic Medicine.

Now that you know I live at home I can tell you about my pets. I like animals but I'm not an animal lover. I love my pets but I don't really care for other animals. First is my cat Bitty. She was named when we adopted her from the Humane Society when she was only three pounds. Now she a thirteen pound rolly polly lump. She literally has a fat roll that she sits on. She's not morbidly obese like some cats are but she's got some weight on her. My brothers and I call her the fat kid. It's funny to us because we are all skinny beanpoles. I love my Bitty and I wouldn't trade her for anything. My other pet is an interesting one. Mimi is a Russian Tortoise. Her name comes from my huge obsession with theatre. She is named after Mimi Marquez from the hit Broadway show RENT. I could have named her after one of the lesbians, Maureen and Joanne, but Mimi seems to fit her nicely. She loves lettuce and she really likes apple slices. I once saw her pretty much inhale one of her apple slices. It's really entertaining to watch a tortoise eat. It sounds boring but until you have witnessed it yourself you don't get an opinion. I paid $100 dollars to adopt Mimi from a popular pet store. The girl that sold her to me flirted with me the whole time. I would have taken that opportunity to flirt back and possibly get some digits and a date but I had my brothers with me and I wasn't out to my family at that time. I know people love to hear and read about coming out stories, I know I do, so watch out for my coming out story in a later blog.

My theater obsession sadly goes beyond naming my tortoise after a character from RENT. I am obsessed with many Broadway leading ladies. I follow all my faves on twitter. I'm not going to list them here but you can check out my twitter page to see who I follow. A few of my favorites such as Idina Menzel, and Megan Hilty don't have twitter accounts. I don't stalk them, I only follow them on twitter. I'm sure these ladies have enough stalkers and I don't want to be in that group. Along with being obsessed with Broadway leading ladies, I'm also obsessed with their shows. The main ones being Wicked, RENT and 9to5. All of my faves have been in at least one of these shows.

Now that I mentioned that I follow some of my favorite Broadway leading ladies I have to mention that I also follow other people as well. I follow Shonda Rhimes and Krista Vernoff of Grey's Anatomy. I follow the bloggers over at Grey's Gabble. I follow Taylor Swift. I follow a couple family members. My favorite person that I follow has to be Jackie Primrose Monahan. Her tweets are like a joke of the day for me. Every time I get a tweet from Jackie I laugh my ass off. One person who I wish had twitter but doesn't is Anne Neczypor. I discovered her and Jackie through their podcast Girls on Girls. I fell in love with Anne's voice. So taking thier advice from their podcast I friended the shit out of Anne and Jackie on Facebook. I sent them both a message with my request and each of them replied. That really made my day.. Anne replied with a message and Jackie replied on my Wall. Now everyone who has access to my facebook profile can see Jackie's wall post and how much her personality comes through the text. There are so many exclamation marks that I lost count in the first line. That's exaggerating a little but still there were alot.

I'm still new at this whole coming out thing... I officially came out in August of this year. I came out to my best friends in May but I say that it was official in August because that's when I came out to my immediate family. I still have some extended family who have to learn of my news. I will come out to each of them on an individual basis and if they ask me first I will be more than happy to confirm it. I've been questioned since I was sixteen which should have told me something. I guess it was really obvious to everyone except my mom and I. Oh, well at least I figured it out young.

Til next time,