Monday, December 27, 2010
The butterflies are back! Oh, how I've missed them.
I've gone on dates and talked to plenty of girls since J and I broke up but none of them have given me butterflies until now :) I don't get to see her until Friday though. It's the only day that I have off and I don't have to work the next day. I'm a little nervous about a first date on New Year's Eve but I don't think that will really matter if the chemistry is there and everything falls into place like it should. I'm nervous but it feels like a good nervous. I think it would be bad if I wasn't.
You're gonna think I'm a goober when I tell you how we met. Well, a friend of mine thought I was a goober when I told her so you probably will too. She is facebook friends with a girl I went to highschool with. The girl I went to high school with is also gay. I was looking through her friends list one day out of boredom and this girl caught my eye. I clicked on her profile and I couldn't see much since I wasn't friends with her but I saw a cute girl who looks like a ton of fun. I decided to message her telling her that I thought she was cute and I decided to be really forward and ask her out. It worked! We've been talking ever since. I'm so excited to take her out on Friday. I found out that her favorite flowers are roses so I'm gonna surprise her with a rose. I'm not sure what color yet but I will keep everyone posted!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Janae Kencia Byford (2004 - 2010) received her angelic wings on December 11, 2010. Janae suffered a stroke due to complications of sickle cell anemia. Janae attended Carlisle Elementary School, First grade. She enjoyed school, especially her friends. Janae had an infectious laugh. She shared her smile with everyone around her. Janae loved to read, color, put puzzles together, dance, sing and snuggle. Janae shared a life of love with her family and friends.
A memorial service will be held at Christian Life Assembly on Thursday, December 16, 2010 at 2 p.m. In lieu of flowers, a memorial has been established at Christian Life Assembly. Janae enjoyed spending her time reading and sharing her life with others. Janae's first thought was always of others and never hesitated to give of herself unselfishly. Funds will be donated to the Carlisle Elementary School Library, Teen Challenge and Christian Life Assembly."
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
I ended up going back later that afternoon. I watched the second performance from the wings backstage. I arrived about halfway through because I had a test earlier. I spent the rest of the afternoon with the cast. I rocked at charades. Then it was time for cast photos. The director told me to go put on a costume and I was going to be in the pictures just to make people scratch their heads and say "Who's that?" I found a dress and hair ribbon to make myself look like a little girl. After the pictures were taken he told me keep the dress on and be in the play. At the very end the kids at the birthday party hold hands and dance around the girl sitting on the couch. I got to be one of the little kids! I did it Thursday night and Friday night. I couldn't do the day performances because I had class and I had to work. After the last performance and after the set has been torn down the cast has a small awards ceremony. There's a traveling scholarship (Who travelled the furthest), rookie of the year, Niehaus Award (Who brought the most at every rehearsal - voted by fellow cast members), Best Actor and Best Actress (voted by the audience). I was a late addition and I wasn't even in the program so I wasn't expecting to get any votes but apparently somebody thought I was pretty great because I got one vote for best actress. B thinks it might have been her mom who voted for me. Another kid who basically did the same thing I did got four votes. He was in more performances than I was.
Here's what I looked like:
I didn't have any lines and I got about 30 seconds of stage time but I still had a blast.
I recieved my script for "White Picket Fence" and it is adorable! My character is going to be a challenge. She is insecure about how she looks so she transforms herself into the ideal woman described by the male lead. I have a pretty hefty role. The entire second scene is all me. My male counterpart sleeps downstage through the whole thing. We have about the same amount of dialogue but my part is incredibly physical. I have to climb over the picket fence and I walk all over the stage. I also have to have a conversation with a doll. I have a costume change too. Usually there aren't any costume changes. It's pretty simple. I wear a red sweater and a white skirt for the first two scenes and in the third scene I wear a floral print blouse with my white skirt. I'm super excited about the white skirt because I have one that is really comfy and it twirls. I'm working on channeling my feminine side and I might have to practice walking in heels but I'm not sure what shoes I'll be wearing yet.
The script for the spring play hasn't been written yet. The director writes parts specific to our abilities. I probably won't get that until January.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The not so good is that I asked the girl in my class what team she plays for, sadly it is not mine. I didn't just flat out ask her if she's gay. I told her my ex drama so I asked if she has any ex drama. She said no. I asked if she didn't have drama because they don't exist or they just aren't big jerk faces like mine. Her ex is a big jerk face who broke up with her after dating for a year and a half through a text message but that was a long time ago and she hasn't dated anyone since. I'm not too terribly disappointed that she isn't gay. I was hoping she was but I always had it in the back of my mind that it was just my wishful thinking.
Now on to the happy stuff!
Since the start of the semester every time I run into the drama teacher at school he asks me if I want to be in a play. This semester I couldn't because I have class during the rehearsal period. I took Intro to Theater with him last fall and he loves me, mainly because I am a good student, I'm mature for my age, and I have respect for people that not alot of college kids have. This guy doesn't like anyone. He can be the biggest douche in the world and I've seen him in many different lights but I still like him. All semester he has been begging me to audition for the spring play. Auditions were held on a Friday so I told him that I wouldn't be able to make it because I have to work. He let me audition right there. He found someone in the current play to read with me and that was my audition. Little did I know that five of the nine student directors for the Spring Festival of Plays were in the room during my audition. I'm glad he didn't tell me until afterwards because I would have been a wreck. I'm comfortable around him and I know what he looks for so I was pretty confident going in even though I had no idea what to expect.
I am cast in the spring play!! Apparently I made such a great impression during my audition that I was instantly drafted by one of the student directors so I am also cast in a student written and directed play for the Spring Festival of Plays. The student play that I'm in only has two characters so I'll have a pretty hefty role. It's called White Picket Fence and supposedly it's a romance. The other actor and I aren't really sure what's going on right now. Hopefully we will soon and I can update you guys!
I recieved an email tonight saying that this year's Spring Play is also a Civic Center production which means we will have performances at the Stoner Theater! Usually it's the summer play that is the Civic Center production. I'm so psyched!
I love comments. They make me feel special :)
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I did let her borrow my click eraser for the rest of the test because she erases alot and the eraser on her pencil was looking pretty sad. She returned it to me yesterday in class.
It rained here yesterday so I dug my umbrella out of the back of my car. It's not very big but it does the job and keeps me dry for the most part. I'm not a very big girl so I don't really need a very big umbrella. Boy, do I wish I had a bigger umbrella. As I said it was raining yesterday. This girl and I usually walk out of class at the same time. I've also noticed that if I take my time or rush to put my stuff away she does the same. Anyway, we walk out of class together every day and we have to walk outside to get to our next classes. I can't walk the whole way with her because we have classes in different buildings but I can walk about halfway until I have to turn to go to my building. When we walked outside yesterday it was still raining so I put up my umbrella. It wasn't raining too hard but it was enough to walk in with wet hair. What I should have done was put my umbrella over her so she wouldn't get rained on. What I actually did was think about asking if she wanted to share and also think about just putting my umbrella over her. I literally wanted to kick myself 5 minutes later when I didn't just do it.
So, this coming Wednesday is going to be the day barring any unforseen complications.
On a side note, I did pass her on the interstate on my way to work yesterday. I saw her car or what I hoped was her car in front of me so I switched lanes when I caught up to her (She was going kinda slow so I didn't have to speed). As I passed I saw that it was her but she didn't look over, when I got ahead of her I switched lanes to get in front of her. My car is very distinctive from the back. I have a rainbow bumper sticker that says "Come out, come out wherever you are". I switched to the slow lane hoping she would catch up to me. When she did she had the goofiest grin on her face and she was waving at me pretty excitedly. She's excited easily so sometimes it's kind of hard to read her enthusiasm. I waved back and proceeded to keep driving. I got her to acknowlegde me, my goal had been achieved. She slowed down and sped up a couple more times to drive by me.
I think all the signs are there. I'm not sure if I'm reading them right.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Today's lesson was "do not speed in the 55mph zone just outside my hometown. The state trooper sitting across the highway will pull you over and give you a speeding ticket." Usually I am very aware of my speed while driving through that zone. There have been many accidents at the main intersection from my hometown onto the highway. Precautions such as lowering the speed limit and moving a turn lane to make traffic more visible have been taken to reduce accidents. I make sure that I don't speed through there because I don't want to be in an accident or cause one right there. I've seen some of them and they are pretty bad.
Part of me thinks the trooper was full of shit when he said I was driving 74mph in a 55mph zone. I very well could have been this morning. I was running late and on the way out of town the highway is on a downhill so its very easy to speed and not realize it.
I got off easy. Instead of writing me a ticket for 19 over and emptying my bank account he knocked it down to 6 over. I still have to pay $114 but it's not a moving violation.
This is why you shouldn't give a former track runner a car. I have a need for speed. Now I have to find a way to satisfy that without costing me $114 or aggravating my horrible shin splints. Suggestions?
Saturday, November 6, 2010
She's been really flirty since the beginning of class. During the first lab she stood really close to me while I was doing things and she still kind of does. There's plenty of room for her to stand a little further away but I don't really mind :) We're lab partners so we spend alot of time together during the week. We've had quite a few conversations. She knows I'm gay and she knows about J.
Here's the thing. I have no idea what team she plays for. I've talked about J so she knows that J is my ex. Never once has she said anything about an ex or even a current relationship. Maybe she hasn't dated anyone yet. I don't know. My friend MS also in my Chemistry class sees her flirtiness too. I can't really tell if she's flirting with me or if it's just her personality. Neither one of us can figure her out. It's so frustrating!
I've decided that Wednesday is the day. I'm not gonna make a move cuz I don't want things to be awkward but I am definitely going to find out what team she plays for.
Wish me luck!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
What was this trip for you ask?
The Nebraska/Wyoming Regional conference for Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society.
I got an email from the Iowa Regional Coordinator, Nancy. The NE/WYO region invited her to come speak at their conference so she decided to invite a few more people to tag along with her. More like 8 people but who's counting? All 9 of us piled ourselves and our luggage into an 8 passenger van. Yeah do the math 9 people + 8 passenger van + all of our stuff for a weekend = cramped! Nancy had the brilliant idea of putting a baby crib mattress in the back for someone to sit on and we would rotate who would sit back there. Rotate my ass. I was stuck in the back for 10 hours of the 12 hour ride out there. I was not alone most of the time. We had a few hefty passengers so the seats were quite cramped trying to fit 3 people to a seat. Luckily on the way back home I didn't have to sit in the back at all. I even got to ride shotgun with Nancy for part of the ride. It was my job to talk to Nancy to keep her awake and alert. However after sitting there for at least two hours my head began to bob and I was out like a light. To explain this I guess I better tell you what I did in Wyoming that made me so freaking tired that I fell asleep in the van (its rare that I fall asleep in vehicles).
Last friday we left at 4 o'clock in the morning so we would have time to make stops and we had to pick up a few people along the way. We were on the road for over a good 12 hours on Friday. We checked into the hotel and had time to shower or rest before going to the community college where the conference was being held. Nancy was the guest speaker on Friday night so it was mandatory that we attend the first general session.
Dinner was provided for us and was catered by Texas Roadhouse. I, being a person who cannot digest red meat very well, was not happy with the only choice of meat being steak. I did however; eat the vegetable, potato and the dinner rolls so don't worry I didn't go hungry.
Saturday was full of break-out sessions. These small break-out sessions are designed to be informational and engage you in an activity so you learn the information without realizing it. At least that's what the Iowa believes they are supposed to be like. I didn't attend other break-out sessions because the ones that we were doing had the information that I wanted to know. I didn't really care about the other topics because I either wasn't interested or it didn't apply to me. Saturday was also full of weird looks and whispers from the NE/WYO region members. Nancy can be quite the character so she got alot of funny looks on Friday during her speech. On saturday the whole Iowa region was given funny looks because we all chose to wear halloween headbands that Nancy bought us at the Dollar Store when we stopped for lunch.
Iowa region is known for shaking things up and for being the loudest region at International. We were louder than Texas and they had twice as many people. We're all about having a good time and showing our Phi Theta Kappa spirit, something that not many people from the NE/WYO region possess. We had to show them how it's done.
Let's get back to the point. I hopped in a van with 8 other people, drove across the midwest, did a little sightseeing along the way, wore a hilarious halloween headband, went for an adventure in the Dollar Tree in Cheyenne, Wyoming; decorated the van with smiley face and Power Rangers window clings, crashed a wedding reception in downtown Cheyenne,
sang karaoke at a Relay for Life event
and got my picture taken with a girl dressed up as Lady Gaga.
I had a crazy Saturday night in Cheyenne, Wyoming. We got back to the hotel around 2 o'clock and got up at 5 to make the trip back to Iowa. Now I know that if part of our trip is on Sunday I should take Monday off from work and possibly get my homework from class so I can stay home and sleep. I fell asleep during chemistry, called into work to say that I was picking up my paycheck then leaving, and dozed off during my spanish quiz. There is no rest for the weary because the next day I had to speak at the Induction ceremony for my chapter. I was given the task of writing a speech about why new inductees should get involved and what being involved in Phi Theta Kappa means to me. My speech rocked! My grandpa has video but if he ever gets it to me in a format that I can use I will post it. I was also installed as a chapter officer. I assumed my duties as co-president for my chapter in May of this year. Hopefully at our next chapter meeting on Tuesday I see alot of new faces and people who are eager to get involved. It really is a great experience and it has really changed my life.
Next weekend I will be in Carroll, Iowa for the Iowa Regional conference. This conference is being held on Thursday, Friday and Saturday so I will have Sunday to recover.
I have lots more pics but Blogger won't let me upload them to this post. I will do a separate photo post when I have time. I am currently running low so if someone has some spare time they would like to give me it would be greatly appreciated!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Along with learning the culture of spanish speaking countries we had to learn the capital of each country too. My high school teacher had a rap song to help us memorize them. This song gets really annoying after awhile but it really sticks with you! The chapter that we are currently studying in my college spanish class has us learning the capitals of spanish speaking countries. When I saw that we were learning capitals this song immediately popped into my head 3 years after I last heard it. We got to listen to a little bit of it in class today. I didn't have the opportunity to view the nice little video that goes with it.
Central American Capitals
South American Capitals
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
In my last post I told you about S. She is a really cool person and I thought we had a connection. However, she wasn't completely honest with me about a major issue. S asked me about my opinion on the practice of smoking marijuana. I told her that I have no desire to try it nor do I have any desire to even be around it. I don't have a problem with people who smoke as long as it's not around me. I also informed her of the consequences if I were caught even being around marijuana. I still have to live by my parents' rules and if I don't I will lose my freedom. This was the end of our conversation. At this point I had no idea why she asked for my opinion. I wasn't going to assume anything because I didn't want to make an ass out of myself. I wasn't sure if she was trying to tell me that she smoked or if she was trying to find out if I did. About a week ago I asked her where our relationship was going because she seemed disinterested and talking to her wasn't the same as it was before.
I found out that she smokes pretty regularly and she always has it on her so my wish to not be around it would be disrespected. I don't understand why she couldn't have been honest with me about it from the beginning.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
While she was sleeping in my bed I painted her toes green to match mine.
Last weekend was also when I started talking to this amazing girl, S. I am a huge Broadway fan so I know alot of actresses who are on Broadway. Not alot of people know who I'm talking about when I mention one of them but this girl knows just about every actress that I do! She listens to their music and has soundtracks from their shows just like me. She even watches Grey's Anatomy and Glee. We have so many things in common it's crazy! We have figured out one thing that we don't share, my love for Taylor Swift. S doesn't like her voice. Well, compared to Broadway actresses Taylor's voice isn't that great but I love her music and her personality so she will continue to be my idol and inspiration. I could go on and on about how much S and I have in common but it would probably bore you to death so I won't. I think my favorite thing about her is that she shares my dream of having a very diverse family. I've always wanted biracial children. I really like that we're both on the same page when it comes to relationships. We have both been hurt so we aren't looking to jump into anything. We are definitely doing the friends first thing which I think is how it should be because you have to have a good foundation to have a good relationship. J and I didn't have a foundation so we ended up falling apart and getting hurt. I really don't want to do that again. I don't even remember when the last time I talked to J was. I know that she texted me and pissed me off because she was being immature and gave me an attitude when one was not necessary. I haven't tried to talk to her and I'm not going to. If she decides to grow up and wants to be friends with me I might consider it but right now I don't need that in my life.
On a happier note, I learned how to scan at work on Friday :) I guess I'm sticking around for a while since my supervisor wanted me to be trained on the scanners. I've made friends at work and they make it suck alot less. Work was drama free until about a week ago. One girl apparently is still in junior high. She told me something personal about another coworker who was not keeping this item a secret so I would have found out anyway. I was telling the other coworker that I had heard the news from junior high girl. If you tell this girl something personal everyone else is gonna know about it. She's a gossip. The other coworker didn't really care that I already knew. The next day another coworked told junior high girl what I said about her. Now junior high girl won't talk to me. Everyone thinks it's ridiculous how immature she's being because I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't spreading rumors about her, I was simply stating a fact. I guess she can't handle the truth. It doesn't bother me, I'm just really entertained by it :)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
I've been working for a month and so far I love my job. I like pretty much everyone that I work with. We all give each other crap and it's so much fun! I like that I can dish out sarcasm and have it thrown right back at me. It keeps us all from going crazy. Sometimes the work gets tedious and sarcastic comments are a great way to lighten the mood. I also have to report that they have found me out at work. I tried to hide the fact that I'm gay because I wasn't sure how my co-workers would feel about it. Whenever I said anything about J in a conversation I avoided pronouns and eventually they caught on and asked me. J could be a boy's or girl's name so I just let them assume that J was a boy. I would talk about my ex J and my friend J as if they were two different people. One girl noticed that I never used pronouns when I talked about my ex J and apparently when I first started I let a 'her' slip out but ever since then I haven't used any pronouns. They figured it out on Friday. They're totally cool with it and of course they have to give me crap about it lol. I can't give you much information about what I do at work because we handle confidential information and I signed a confidentiality agreement. I can tell you that my department processes credit card applications, and claims for private dealer product rebates. I can't tell you what the products are or who our clients are.
J and I started talking again around my birthday in May. The whole silence thing lasted about 3 weeks. Needless to say, I wasn't the one who initiated the contact. She did. There was some texting going on about two weeks after we broke up but I told her that it was her idea not to talk and she needed to take responsibility for her choices. That silence lasted nine days. It was hard not talking to her at first but then I realized that having time apart was the best thing for us. I was reluctant to begin talking again but I decided to try it. So far it's been good. We did have a few spats at the beginning because honestly 3 weeks apart was not enough and I still had some choice words for her. After we got through that, things have been going pretty well. It's definitely not like it was before but I didn't expect it to be. Right now we are just texting and talking on the phone but the last phone call was about a month ago. I've found that it's easier to just let her come to me. If she wants to talk then I'll talk to her but I don't usually initiate the conversations. I hate her. I realized that a few weeks ago. There was one day that it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm over her, I hate her guts because she was mean to me in ways that were completely unneccesary, and right now I'm not interested in being friends. I wasn't sure if I would ever reach this point or feel this way but I'm glad that I do. I realized that our relationship was not good and I didn't do anything wrong to contribute to that. I can't be in a relationship with someone who wants to mother me more than she wants to be my equal, I can't be in a relationship with double standards, I can't be with someone who can't be honest with me because she's too afraid of hurting my feelings and I don't deserve to be a burden on her social life. I deserve better. I have notecards placed in my room that with that on them. They've been very helpful with getting me to believe that I do deserve better. J really is a good person and I know that she has good intentions but she doesn't always go about things in the right way. I don't hate her as a person, I hate her behavior. As a person she was always good enough for me but it seemed like she was never good enough for herself. When someone thinks that way they drag everyone else down with them whether they intend to or not.
I've learned alot more on my guitar. I'm working on Green Day's "Good Riddance" and it's coming along nicely. It's a super simple song and it's a great one for me to practice with switching chords. Once I get more strength and dexterity in my left hand I'll be rocking out to Taylor Swift and Kellie Pickler. If you want some great music to listen to after a break up Taylor and Kellie can definitely help with that.
Besides getting a job and some relationship drama my summer has been pretty low key. It has gone super fast since I've been working but I love the money. I wish that I could work more hours during school so I could afford to move out. I think I'm ready to be on my own but that's a long way off because I don't need the extra stress while I'm in school. I'm happy where I'm at. Free food and my own room are pretty great.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
On Tuesday I got to enjoy my last day of freedom with my ladybug :)
Ladybug is my adorable 10 1/2 month old cousin, Laila. I just love her!
We went to the mall and walked around for a while. Well, I walked and ladybug rode in the janky stroller. Trying to turn with this stroller is easier said than done lol. I was going to let her play in the play area but when we walked by there were so many kids that I didn't feel comfortable having her play. We went to Barnes and Noble where I bought myself a book of guitar excercises. I've already learned the basics so I might as well start playing something that sounds like music. Up until now I've just been working on switching between chords so it doesn't really sound like much. I also bought the cute little ladybug page clips in the picture above.
After the mall we headed over to my house. I introduced ladybug to my outside kitty, Mittens. I wanted her to pet Mittens so I stroked her back to show her. Laila decided that her head seemed like a better idea so she just went for it and ended up basically smacking Mittens in the face. Poor Mittens! I showed her my inside kitty, Bitty. There is nothing bitty about this cat at all lol. She is enormous! I didn't bother to show Laila how to pet Bitty because once I put her on the floor Bitty cowered in the corner and hissed if Laila got too close. Bitty is a spoiled baby so if anyone or anything comes into her environment and hogs all of the attention she gets very defensive.
Laila's favorite thing to do was stand at the sliding glass door and bang on it while trying to get Mittens on the other side. She was so cute! My dad got a kick out of her banging on the glass and then screaming when she couldn't get the kitty on the other side. After our long day Ladybug was tired so I decided to take her home. She passed out in the car and when I got her home she was so out of it that she didn't recognize her mom. Lol. We had a wonderful day!
Earlier I mentioned that Tuesday was my last day of freedom. I say this because I GOT A JOB! I have been looking non-stop since I got out of school and have applied at so many different places. It really seemed like nobody was hiring. I had no luck. My mom was telling her friends about how I've been looking for a job and haven't found anything yet. One of her friends Lacey said that they needed help in her company and offered to help get me a job there. I went to the website she told me to go to and I had to submit a resume to apply for the job. I had a resume but I made it my senior year of highschool so I had some major updating to do. I updated the crap out of my resume and sent it in Sunday night. I didn't hear anything Monday, then Tuesday morning Lacey told me to call Human Resources so I did and the rep told me that since I know Lacey and they need a ton of help they wanted to go ahead and get me started that day. Well, I was watching Ladybug so I couldn't start Tuesday. I started today at 9am and filled out paperwork and then was introduced to the department I would be working in. I was busy all day long which is something that I need. I hate not having anything to do. I worked on alot of different things and it was alot to take in but it's not too hard once you get started. I'm considered part-time but I can work up to 35 hours a week. I could work four 8 1/2 hour days which is 34 hours or I could work five 7 hour days and get 35 hours. I chose to work the five 7 hour days so I can be more flexible with my schedule. I can go in early and get off early or I can go in late and get off late. Which ever I feel like doing. The four 8 1/2 hour days sounded pretty cool because I would get a day off during the week but my supervisor would get to pick which day and I would rather work short days than really long days. My mom suggested that I work 8:30 to 4:00 so I miss the rush hour traffic. I just want to work as many hours as I can during the summer so I can save up money before school starts. My hours are going to go down drastically in the fall because I'm really only available on Mondays and Fridays after 11:00 am. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I get out of school later so I would only be at work for maybe an hour. I'm planning on sticking around and making some money.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I think I've come a long way in a week. I have been working on memorizing the shapes of chords and switching between them. Some switches are easier to make than others. I have also learned a few simple songs. I know how to play Frere Jacques, The Star-Spangled Banner, Happy Birthday and I can even play the intro line to Taylor Swift's "Tear Drops on My Guitar".
Today I bought thumbpicks and a capo(that's the bar thing that goes across the strings)with my birthday money. I love my thumbpicks! They make picking so much easier. Strumming is alot easier now too because my pick feels more stable. A thumbpick wraps around your thumb and to me if feels more stable than strumming with a flat pick.
I can't wait to get sheet music and really start playing!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I had a great birthday! My parents brought home my acoustic guitar last night!
I was awestruck. I have been waiting for this for years! I broke out the lesson dvd that came with it and started with the basics. I've learned a few chords. Now, I just have to practice switching between the chords when I play. I played for a little bit this morning but I had to stop because it was getting too painful. I couldn't press the string all the way down with my index finger. I will build up calluses eventually. I just have to keep telling myself that the pain is worth it.
I stayed up until midnight, mainly because I had a feeling that people were going to text me at midnight to wish me Happy Birthday. My feeling was right :) My Aunt and two of my friends texted me. People also wished me a Happy Birthday via facebook. My phone was going off like crazy today.
Around lunch time I went over to my bff A's house and we took a walk around Grays Lake. It was nice :) We had a picnic lunch and it was nice to be able to talk, just the two of us. She goes away for school so we have to take advantage of the time we have while she is here.
My birthday with the family started around 6 pm. My dad's parents came with an ice cream cake and my grandma's amazing potato salad. We grilled hamburgers, hotdogs and brats. We just kept everything low key. My 'older sister' L came as well :) L works with my mom. She calls her "Mom" and apparently she is the number 1 daughter lol. L is about 16 months older than me so she very well could be my sister. I like that we're 'fake sisters' because then I don't have to deal with the clothes stealing, the fighting and she doesn't live in my house lol. I like L but I don't know if I could share my house with another female besides my mom.
Here's me with my guitar and my Taylor Swift shirt! I can't wait til I get better and I can start playing songs!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I want an acoustic guitar so freakin bad! I have wanted one for at least the last five years. Guitars are expensive and I know this but yet my brother got one for Christmas one year. I have been asking for a guitar and still have yet to get my wish.
My 20th birthday is on Wednesday May 19th and the only thing I asked for is an acoustic guitar. That's the only thing I can think of that I even want.
I'm serious about teaching myself how to play. I was in band for 8 years while in school and I miss music so much. I have a clarinet that sits in my closet because who wants to play a clarinet? It's not any fun and I would have to discipline myself to learn the fingerings all over again. I know I will get frustrated because I should know them. I haven't played clarinet since my junior year of High School in Marching Band. I played the Oboe in concert band. My senior year I played the bass drum so I haven't played my clarinet in a good three and a half years. You also can't sing while playing the clarinet which is one of my objectives while teaching myself to play the guitar.
I have a musical ear but it's out of practice. By listening and tuning my guitar I hope to be able to learn to control my voice better and hear the notes that I am singing.
I have a checklist that I used to determine whether this is something that I really want to do.
1) Ability to read music - Check
2) Guitar lesson book downloaded to Adobe Acrobat from iTunes - Check
3) Guitar chords from my fave songs copy and pasted into word documents - Check
4) Accepting the fact that the fingers on my left hand are going to hate me - Check
5) Guitar app on my iTouch to practice for the real thing - Check
6) Getting frustrated that the screen on my iTouch is too small for chords - Check
7) Knowing what notes the open strings are (EADGBE) - Check
8) Listening to songs that I like and trying to memorize the rhythms - Check
9) Thinking that Taylor Swift playing a 12 string guitar is pretty BA - Check
10)Been inspired to play by Taylor Swift from the first moment I saw her - Check
Now all I need to do is go shopping for my guitar. I hope that time is VERY VERY SOON!!! I've been waiting for this for years.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Sound off in the comments below. How far is too far?
A story about this dance routine was run on Entertainment Tonight. Their parents and a representative all said that the moves these girls were doing are legit dance moves. I don't doubt that but the moves featured at 1:45 all the way to the end were far too mature for this age group, in my opinion.
Monday, May 10, 2010
I encourage all of you donate to this wonderful cause between now and June 4th 2010. You can click on the badge at the right and it will take you to my personal page where you can donate.
The Phi Theta Kappa Cancer Crusaders
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The tears at Christmas when I opened up my box with the Taylor Swift tickets were definitely worth it.
Gloriana opened the show and they were pretty good. They had alot of four part harmonies going on which was cool but made them sound really busy. There was alot going on in their set and it kind of distracted me from the music. They did play a new single and I definitely have to find that song.
Next up was Kellie Pickler. My mom is a huge Kellie fan. She jokingly said that she was ready to leave after Kellie was done singing. Her favorite song is "Red High Heels". I knew that Kellie was going to possibly sing "Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You" and I tried my hardest not to cry because the lyrics are so relevant to me. I love the song but I had to take it off my playlist on my ipod because I can't listen to it anymore. One of the songs that I love of hers that I didn't expect her to play was "Things that Never Cross a Man's Mind" because it's not very popular but it's hilarious! It was so cool seeing her live. Her stage presence is just amazing.
Between acts we could text a certain number and if our message got picked it would show up on the big screens. Alot of people said how excited they were to be there. There were a couple of marriage proposals but those didn't really surprise me. What did surprise me was that one of them said "[J's nickname and last name] will you marry me?" That completely freaked me out. J's name is really common but I didn't expect to see it on the big screen at the Taylor Swift concert. Her nickname was spelled the same and everything. Talk about freaky.
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Then came Taylor Swift!!! She opened the show with "You Belong With Me". I love this song! The coolest part of the concert was seeing her face on the big scree. Taylor would look out into the crowd and she'd have a shitty grin on her face. Her facial expressions were hilarious. Seeing her dance on stage like a maniac was the most entertaining thing I have ever seen. That girl is nuts!
At one point she moved to a small stage in the back of the arena so the people back there could see her better. She played her twelve string guitar which was super cool! She knows how to get the crowd going. I know there are Taylor haters out there and all I'm going to say is "They can shut the hell up" Taylor deserves every award she has ever won. Her show was so amazing! I had to keep reminding myself that she was right there in front of me in the flesh and not just on tv anymore.
I was able to get a few pictures but we weren't close enough to get any good ones. My favorite picture is one that I took of the stage during "Picture to Burn". It turned out super cool.
I had such an amazing time! I feel like the most loved daughter in the entire world!! My mom bought me a Gloriana shirt, a Kellie Pickler shirt, a Taylor Swift shirt and a program.
My mom caught a piece of Official Taylor Swift confetti. Most of it ended up on the people sitting in the floor seats but a few pieces made it up to where we were sitting.
Here's my favorite Taylor Swift music video :)
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Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
We are taking some time apart which means we aren't talking or texting until this fall when she moves down here for school. It just wasn't working.
Hopefully, we will have both healed enough to be friends.
I would rather be friends than nothing at all. We have a lot of the same interests and I think we would work better as friends. I care about her a lot and I don't like cutting people out of my life if I don't have to.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I have had a very busy past few weeks. I went to Florida from Wednesday the 7th to Sunday the 11th of this month for the Phi Theta Kappa International Convention. Phi Theta Kappa is an Honors Society for two year college students. I had a blast! I loved representing the state of Iowa and I had a ton of fun with my fellow regional members. I made a few friends who I hope will still keep in touch.
Last Wednesday J and I broke up for a few days. Those three days were some of the hardest I have ever had. I have great friends who offered me endless support and without them I would have been in a very dark place. I was hurt and now I have a little bit of a trust issue but I'm sure it will go away with time. J and I have decided to start over and slow things down.
This summer I'm working at a summer camp :) I had a phone interview last week and I was offered a position on the spot! Yeah, I'm a stud! lol
With me working at camp it's going to force J and I to take things slow. We won't get to see each other as often which I am dreading but I am also thinking of it as a good thing. We can date each other and do this the right way hopefully without letting our emotions get the best of us.
So, now I'm off to bed because right now it is almost 1 am. I have school and I need to be rested so I can get all of my work done before the end of the semester. I am a chronic procrastinator and no amount of stress or feeling overwhelmed will teach me not to be. I'm incredibly stubborn. I will find a way to get everything done because I'm a stud and I always seem to pull it off. I have major skills ;) lol Okay, I'm done being cocky.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I have always been careful and kind of weary of dating because I never wanted to get my heart broken. I had to make sure that the person I chose to let into my life and my heart was someone so special that no one else could possibly fill that space. I thought I had found her.
From the moment we started talking I knew something was there. We both knew what we wanted and didn't want to mess around. We have so much in common yet we are total opposites. We complemented each other. We fit into this easy rhythm. I beared my heart and soul to her.
Then we started to get to know each other more, we got comfortable and our real personalities came out. I thought this would be a good thing.
I wish I hated her because somehow I think that would make this all easier.
If this is really what she wants then our relationship is over.
I still want to be friends because she means more to me than she'll ever know.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Once I got to highschool the teachers were way more lenient. My freshman year is one that I really don't like to remember at least the academic portion. I've always like science and my freshman year I had to take a Physical Science class. It was just a basic introductory course. I was bored. I liked the class and I knew the material but doing daily work was a struggle for me. I was one of those kids in highschool that you just wanted to punch in face because I never had to study for anything. I never studied for my science tests and I aced them every time. My teacher didn't understand me. Usually students do well on the daily work portion and poorly on the tests and quizzes portion of the class. What I'm saying is, if I know the material then I'm less likely to do the homework over it because it bores me. I already understand it so why do I need more practice?
I grew out of this phase my sophomore year of highschool and it has carried through until last semester. My fall semester grades were excellent. I loved school but now that I look back I hardly ever had homework. This semester I am taking a film class because I need a humanities credit and I have at least one paper due every week. It only needs to be a page long but actually sitting down and doing it is daunting. I hate it! I am behind in this class and I should have worked on it over spring break but I had no motivation. It also doesn't help that the films we have been watching just bore me to death. I have almost fallen asleep during the films for the past three weeks. We are supposed to be active viewers and we have to look at the cinematography and all sorts of stuff. It's hard to be an active viewer when the film does not hold my attention. I have a newfound appreciation for French films but that doesn't mean I have to like them.
I have learned something from this. No matter how much I hate homework and no matter how much of a battle it is I still shouldn't lie to my girlfriend about it. I just have to realize that she's not my mom and she's not going to lecture me but that fear is ingrained in my head and it's hard to break habits.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
This BBA has its rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.
I want to give a big thank you to my wonderful girlfriend Jessi! She really is too cute to be gay :) lol http://individualincredibleme.blogspot.com
Okay so I have to come up with 7 things about me that I haven't already shared. Here goes...
1. I have a slight case of OCD. Everything in my room has it's place and said things should be in their places at all times. My bookshelf is uber-organized. It's way too complicated to explain, you'll have to see for yourself.
2. I am obsessed with chapstick. I always have chapstick and if I don't I feel lost without it. I like just the regular old chapstick even though my girlfriend says it tastes like butt. How she knows what butt tastes like, I don't know. I didn't ask.
3. I love The Little Mermaid. Ariel is the best Disney Princess ever!
4. I am fiercely independent. I like to do things myself. Just because I'm a girl and I'm little doesn't mean I can't do things. I also don't like when other people pay for me. I feel insulted even if they are just trying to take care of me ;) Jessi.
5. I am forever grateful to my friends and family for supporting me and loving me for who I am.
6. I like to sing in the car and I think I'm getting pretty good at it :) I've never had a voice lesson in my life but it helps that I have a musical ear. Thank you 8 years of band!
7. Speaking of band... I played in the school band for 8 years. I started out on the clarinet. I was pretty much an instrument whore. I played keyboard percussion, I taught myself how to play flute and trumpet. In my junior year I got to play the oboe in concert band. I loved it! Playing the oboe was one of the best experiences of my life. It also played into my independent streak. I was my own section and I was in charge of myself, my instrument and my music. I didn't have a section leader to answer to.
Now to pass on this lovely award :)
1. This first one is a former English teacher of mine. I enjoy reading excerpts that she posts and other ideas for her novels.
2. I really enjoy this blog :) She goes by lezstar and blogs about everything lesbian. I really like reading about her take on lesbian issues from Constance McMillen to her own coming out story.
3. I know that Jessi passed on the award to The Surprise Dyke in her blog. I can't help but do the same :) Her blog posts always make me smile whether they are recapping a funny moment in her classroom, a funny conversation she had with her girlfriend or just one that she over heard while at work they always have me rolling!
4. This blogger is also one of my former English teachers. Her posts are mainly about her two wonderful little boys :) Her blog is mainly for keeping friend and family updated. Her layout is super cute! If you want to see two of the most adorable little boys be sure to check her out!
That's all I got. Go check them out!
I decided that when I'm talking about my girlfriend I'm just going to call her Jessi instead of J. She has her own blog with her name on it so what's with all the fake anonymity?
Monday, March 22, 2010
My dad's mom is on facebook now. Two family members suggested that I be friends with her. I sent her a friend request thinking "Oh she'll see this in about a month. That's plenty of time for me to tell her that I'm gay and that I'm dating J." Boy was I wrong. I got home from school today and saw that she had accepted my friend request and commented on one of my posts about J.
Lucky for me I have a second cousin who is gay and lives in California with her girlfriend/partner and their two adopted daughters. Grandma adores them. I knew she would be okay with me being gay but I just couldn't find the right time to tell her. I'm pretty sure that she suspected though because of all the conversations we had about marriage equality and civil rights (notice I didn't say 'gay rights'. We are not special we are just normal people who deserve the rights that everyone else has).
I'm kind of disappointed that I didn't get to tell her about J in person. She deserves to hear it from me, not from facebook. I guess I just have to deal with it.
I don't want to brag but while I'm on the subject of telling my family, I'm going to say that everyone in my family knows that I'm gay and they are all really cool about it. I'm actually waiting for someone not to be. I don't understand how I got so lucky to have a family who accepts and loves me for who I am. Not everybody has that and I feel so lucky and extremely grateful that I do. I don't have to keep J a secret from them, not that I could even if I had to. She's just so amazing that I have to share it with everybody :)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
And what do you know, I found one :) She loves her Hippo.
J and Maggie :)
Now she wasn't the only one to get a present. She brought me a present too :) My present won't last as long as a Hippo but I love it just as much! J got me white daisies. Now, I'm not a flower kind of girl. I don't really like flowers but there's something about daisies. Ever since I was little I have always had something that had daisies on it.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
At this point I really liked my surprise. She put some of my favorite candies in a really cute coffee mug. I like candy and I like coffee. She told me that the coffee mug was a Valentine's one because she saw my twitter post that said I wished Valentine's Day came twice a year because I missed it this year with her. This girl pays attention!
She told me to take the candy out and read what was in the bottom of the cup. And this is what I saw.
J said it took me forever to answer but maybe that's because she was nervous :) It took me forever to answer because she took my breath away and I had to breathe before I could speak. There was a rush of emotion that I can't even come close to describing. I was actually going to ask her but I didn't have anything like this planned. She's so romantic and of course I said...
J has a blog too! You can find it here http://individualincredibleme.blogspot.com/. I'm proud to say that I got her to start blogging :) She reads mine and I read hers so there's no secrets.
"We don't lie to each other, there's no need. " (Mama K)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
J and I had planned on meeting at the halfway point between our two towns for dinner and a movie but those plans were kind of thrown out the window when I went up to see her on Wednesday night. We have decided to trade off on who drives. Yesterday was her turn to drive so she drove all the way down here to see me. I 'll save you the dirty details and get straight to the point.
J got to meet my parents and my brothers. I was so nervous when she got here I couldn't even look at her. I showed her my awesome room and introduced her to Mimi. Neither one of us wanted to go anywhere so we watched a movie and then I cooked dinner for her. She cooked for me on Wednesday night at her two moms' house. After dinner we watched a couple episodes of Glee. It was kind of late so we just talked for awhile and then went to bed.
It sounds like a boring night at home but spending time with J is anything but boring. My parents weren't home and my brothers left me alone so it was nice to hang out with just the two of us. I could just sit and look at her all day. She is perfect.
It was really hard to see her leave this morning. She wrote me a love note and it was super cute!
We already have plans for next Friday night and I'm super excited!
Friday, February 26, 2010
I drove 2 hours to see J and boring car ride aside, I had a great time! I got to meet her two moms (her real parents don't know about me yet) and they are two of the coolest ladies I have ever met. I love music and it's great to meet people who are even more passionate about music than I am.
One of the highlights from last night was watching J sing my favorite Green Day song. She sang it without music, which she has never done before, just for me. :)
I had a great time Wednesday night and I can't wait to see her beautiful face tonight!
She was totally worth the 4 hour round trip and entire tank of gas. Just sayin' :)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Once we started talking, we couldn't stop. We both knew that we had to get up in the morning but neither of us wanted to hang up. I could listen to her voice all day :) and hear her tell me that my giggle is adorable. We traded stories and just talked about everything we could think of.
Hanging up from that phone call was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I missed her instantly.
I'm running on about 3 hours of sleep but it was totally worth it!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
I told my Dad that I was going to buy a Camaro. The poster is the closest I will be getting for a long time. I painted those ceramic flip-flops myself at a pottery studio. The purple squiggle clock came from a friend of my Mom.
I love my dresser. I got it for my 17th birthday when were moving into this house. My curtains and my high heel chair continue the pink from the pictures above my bed to the other side of my room. Hanging on the door is my zippie collection. I have twelve hooks and each hook has multiple zippies and/or jackets on them.
My Wicked poster that I took out of the newspaper. It was printed on my younger brother's birthday. The day after tickets went on sale here for the tour.
My RENT poster that came in my program booklet. It was folded up in the program. On the other side is the cast and crew bios.
Finally! All of my track medals are up! The first frame is my freshman year. It has my State Track shirt, all of my medals(7), a picture of me and the wrist band I wore at the state meet.
The second frame is my sophomore year Cross Country/Track ribbons and medals along with a picture of me and team. The plaque above the small frame is my award for Newcomer of the Year in Cross Country.
The small frame contains my ribbons and medals from Cross Country my Junior year. I never ordered team pictures when I was in Cross Country. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I never really felt that we were a team.
The last big frame is my senior year. It has my State Track shirt, all of my medals (18 all of them are third place or better except one), the number that I wore on my shorts for one of my relays that qualified (Only the anchor leg wore a number on her shorts), my wrist band and a picture of me and the team.
Friday, February 19, 2010
I have not stopped smiling today! I was smiling yesterday and the day before too!
I love this feeling! It's so exciting! Especially when it's someone you really like who is making you smile all the time!
Just seeing her name on my cellphone gives me butterflies!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
There are no videos of Anne on stage as Elphaba. This song is one of my favorites and it is downloadable on iTunes. Enjoy!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
I finally get to use my new bedspread!
And I can hang my pictures back up on my walls!
I'm not a big fan of this table but since it has a piece of glass on it I thought I would customize it. My first Wicked book was destroyed when the basement flooded but the pictures were salvageable so I tore them out and dried them.
Mimi is now in my room! She seems to be liking it. There's not as much traffic and noise.
There is actually a whole other side to my room. These pictures only cover the back half. Once I get my track medals framed and hung I will show you those and the other side. The wall to the left of bed contains my bookcase and a couple of posters that are for my viewing eyes only.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Today Monday February 8th is the 6 month anniversary of the day I came out. I actually started coming out in April but really that was just me trying to find myself. Now that it has been 6 months I can't think of a better time than the present to share my coming out story. Saturday August 8th 2009 was the day I came out to my mom. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. I remember the conversation and how I felt during the whole thing. This all happened within the span of only a few minutes.
It was about 10 in the morning and I was enjoying just laying in bed until my mom came in the room. I started to get really nervous because behind her on the wall were two posters. One of Kim Kardashian in lingerie and one of Miss Carribean Tan in a snake skin bikini. She sat on my bed next to me and told me that we had to get up and around because we had a family picnic later. The whole time I was praying that she wouldn't turn around because I wasn't sure if I was ready to have 'The Conversation' yet. It was just my luck that my mom turned around and saw said posters.
Mom: "Why do you have naked girls on your wall?"
ME: "Mom, they're not naked."
Mom: "Okay why do you have pictures of girls on your wall?"
Me: "Because I do."
Mom: "Do you like girls?"
Mom: "Do you like boys?"
Mom: "Not even a little bit?"
Me: "Nope and I never really have."
Mom: "Well, you know I'm okay with it. You just kind of surprised me."
Mom: "Well yes. I didn't expect you to tell me something like that."
Me: "Did that really just happen? How could she not know?"
I then had to send texts to my two best friends who already knew. They were so excited that I finally told her. A couple nights later my now ex-bff AD was over and my mom asked her if she knew. She said yes. Then my mom started crying because apparently I can't have a wedding or wear her wedding dress. She has now been educated that I can have everything any other girl can have. She just won't be getting a son-in-law which apparently she looked forward to. I can see how she would be disappointed but in lieu of a son-in-law I am going to find her the most kick-ass daughter-in-law I can find. So there's my coming out story.
Here's a funny story that my mom told me yesterday. This little exchange happened Friday night.
My mom and dad were up at the Sportsmans' Club which serves as one of the two bars (yes two) in my tiny town. They were talking to an older couple who were telling them about their grandchildren. My mom was talking to the wife F about my brothers and I. Here's how their conversation went down.
F: So do you have any grandchildren?
Mom: No, F my kids are all still teenagers and I would only have to worry about my boys.
F: Well, don't you have a daughter?
M: Yes. She hasn't been exposed. (my mom's code for having sex with a boy)
F: Well, she still could.
F: What do you mean?
M: F my daughter likes girls.
F: Girls? (she ponders for a little while)
M: Yes, F she likes girls.
F: You mean she's gay?!
M: Yes, she's gay.
Apparently after that little exchange F didn't say anything for the rest of the night. Now, we meet some pretty conservative people. Iowa is pretty progressive, I can get married legally here, but sometimes we get some back woods southern type folks. That's exactly who F and her husband were.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Another thing that will be really nice is not having to brush drywall dust off the bottom of my feet before I get in bed. I also won't be destroying anymore socks on the exposed carpet tack. My landlord owes me at least five pairs of socks which I probably won't be seeing. I'm really glad that we don't own our house yet or we would have to use our own money to fix our basement which would mean that I would be displaced even longer. Pictures of my finished bedroom will be posted because I will be so excited that I won't be able to resist blogging about it.