Done

J and I are done.
We are taking some time apart which means we aren't talking or texting until this fall when she moves down here for school. It just wasn't working.
Hopefully, we will have both healed enough to be friends.
I would rather be friends than nothing at all. We have a lot of the same interests and I think we would work better as friends. I care about her a lot and I don't like cutting people out of my life if I don't have to.

NO TIME!!!

I literally have had no time to blog these past couple weeks. The only reason I have time now is because I don't want to go to bed. I am up. I am wired. And I might as well get stuff done now before I crash.

I have had a very busy past few weeks. I went to Florida from Wednesday the 7th to Sunday the 11th of this month for the Phi Theta Kappa International Convention. Phi Theta Kappa is an Honors Society for two year college students. I had a blast! I loved representing the state of Iowa and I had a ton of fun with my fellow regional members. I made a few friends who I hope will still keep in touch.

Last Wednesday J and I broke up for a few days. Those three days were some of the hardest I have ever had. I have great friends who offered me endless support and without them I would have been in a very dark place. I was hurt and now I have a little bit of a trust issue but I'm sure it will go away with time. J and I have decided to start over and slow things down.

This summer I'm working at a summer camp :) I had a phone interview last week and I was offered a position on the spot! Yeah, I'm a stud! lol
With me working at camp it's going to force J and I to take things slow. We won't get to see each other as often which I am dreading but I am also thinking of it as a good thing. We can date each other and do this the right way hopefully without letting our emotions get the best of us.

So, now I'm off to bed because right now it is almost 1 am. I have school and I need to be rested so I can get all of my work done before the end of the semester. I am a chronic procrastinator and no amount of stress or feeling overwhelmed will teach me not to be. I'm incredibly stubborn. I will find a way to get everything done because I'm a stud and I always seem to pull it off. I have major skills ;) lol Okay, I'm done being cocky.

The end of a fun ride.

I'm running on about 4 1/2 hours of sleep. It's probably less because I kept waking up.
I have always been careful and kind of weary of dating because I never wanted to get my heart broken. I had to make sure that the person I chose to let into my life and my heart was someone so special that no one else could possibly fill that space. I thought I had found her.
From the moment we started talking I knew something was there. We both knew what we wanted and didn't want to mess around. We have so much in common yet we are total opposites. We complemented each other. We fit into this easy rhythm. I beared my heart and soul to her.
Then we started to get to know each other more, we got comfortable and our real personalities came out. I thought this would be a good thing.

I wish I hated her because somehow I think that would make this all easier.
If this is really what she wants then our relationship is over.
I still want to be friends because she means more to me than she'll ever know.