Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I feel like an idiot

As my title says, I feel like an idiot. The person I have been looking for in all the wrong places has been right in front of my face for months. I have known her for almost a year and she has been a great friend and confidant. She is often the first person I tell things to. Jessi introduced us to each other and I felt an instant connection with her. We were both in relationships at the time and became fast friends. She helped me when Jessi broke up with me and I helped her when her long-term girlfriend broke up with her. We were there for each other. Over the past few months our conversations have become more intimate and personal. I've told her things that only my best friends know about me. She just seems to get me. I never have to explain myself to her and talking to her is so easy.
One weekend in November we had a marathon texting session over 3 days. We texted all day about all sorts of things. I asked her for some advice because I haven't had much luck with girls since Jessi and I broke up. She told me to stop looking and just let her find me but also not to overlook someone already in my life. I wasn't sure what she meant by that but in the back of my mind I was wondering if she was talking about herself. I played around with the idea of us dating in my head but I kept it at a distance because we live 8 hours away from each other. That same weekend she brought up the idea of us possibly meeting. I thought it was a great idea. We both love roadtrips and yeah 8 hours in a car is a lot but it would be worth it. When I started talking to Whitney I told her how old Whitney is and her only response was that she thinks I should be with someone older. Again, I thought to myself that she trying to give me a hint. When she started seeing someone I put the idea away. To be honest, hearing her talk about how much fun she was having with this girl wasn't something I really enjoyed hearing about. I was happy for her but I didn't ask about the new girl like most friends would.
Then a few weeks ago she discovered her love for musical theater. I have been in love with musical theater for years. I was so excited to finally have someone who understands my love for Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth! She was disappointed that the Wicked tour had been in her area only weeks before and she missed it. I told her that she could wait until it came back around or take a trip to NYC to see it on Broadway. She invited me to go to NYC with her! We would see the show and the city because neither one of us has been to the city. She also wanted me to go to an Idina Menzel concert with her in Indianapolis in March but I can't because of school.
The other night we had a pretty awesome conversation on facebook chat. I had mentioned to a friend that she and I are perfect for each other except we live 8 hours away. My friend told me to bring it up but I wasn't sure how to go about doing it. I usually don't hold back when I have something on my mind but this was an exception. There were too many questions and I didn't want to be disappointed. I've had enough disappointment. To my relief and complete shock, she brought up the idea of us dating. I wasn't completely shocked but I was definitely caught off guard. I know I had been bouncing the idea around but I wasn't sure if it was just an idea or if there was something real between us. I hope its real but even if it's not I still have a great friend.
So I feel like an idiot. The perfect girl for me has been right in front of my face and giving me hints for months. I really hope she's it.


  1. good luck mate. hope things work out for you :D
    fingers crossed.

  2. Awww, I love when someone realizes the person they have been searching for is right there in front of them the whole time. Keep us posted!!!

  3. I love it too :) I've just had horrible luck with girls and she has been right there in front of me this whole time.