Crazy Life!

These past few weeks have been pretty crazy. I've been busy hanging out with friends, a trip to Adventureland, and Phi Theta Kappa meetings. Many nights I didn't get home until after midnight and got up the next morning to go to work. That in itself is pretty exhausting. Last weekend I thought I would have the weekend to relax and get caught up on sleep. Boy was I wrong! I ended up having my cousin Laila all weekend. My parents weren't home much to help me out so it was just me and Ladybug. We had so much fun together :) She's walking now so I have to keep an extra eye on her because she's quick. I thought she was playing with my apples in the kitchen when really she was in the bathroom pulling toilet paper off the roll. It's hard to get mad at her because she sure is a cutie :)

While she was sleeping in my bed I painted her toes green to match mine.

Last weekend was also when I started talking to this amazing girl, S. I am a huge Broadway fan so I know alot of actresses who are on Broadway. Not alot of people know who I'm talking about when I mention one of them but this girl knows just about every actress that I do! She listens to their music and has soundtracks from their shows just like me. She even watches Grey's Anatomy and Glee. We have so many things in common it's crazy! We have figured out one thing that we don't share, my love for Taylor Swift. S doesn't like her voice. Well, compared to Broadway actresses Taylor's voice isn't that great but I love her music and her personality so she will continue to be my idol and inspiration. I could go on and on about how much S and I have in common but it would probably bore you to death so I won't. I think my favorite thing about her is that she shares my dream of having a very diverse family. I've always wanted biracial children. I really like that we're both on the same page when it comes to relationships. We have both been hurt so we aren't looking to jump into anything. We are definitely doing the friends first thing which I think is how it should be because you have to have a good foundation to have a good relationship. J and I didn't have a foundation so we ended up falling apart and getting hurt. I really don't want to do that again. I don't even remember when the last time I talked to J was. I know that she texted me and pissed me off because she was being immature and gave me an attitude when one was not necessary. I haven't tried to talk to her and I'm not going to. If she decides to grow up and wants to be friends with me I might consider it but right now I don't need that in my life.
On a happier note, I learned how to scan at work on Friday :) I guess I'm sticking around for a while since my supervisor wanted me to be trained on the scanners. I've made friends at work and they make it suck alot less. Work was drama free until about a week ago. One girl apparently is still in junior high. She told me something personal about another coworker who was not keeping this item a secret so I would have found out anyway. I was telling the other coworker that I had heard the news from junior high girl. If you tell this girl something personal everyone else is gonna know about it. She's a gossip. The other coworker didn't really care that I already knew. The next day another coworked told junior high girl what I said about her. Now junior high girl won't talk to me. Everyone thinks it's ridiculous how immature she's being because I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't spreading rumors about her, I was simply stating a fact. I guess she can't handle the truth. It doesn't bother me, I'm just really entertained by it :)

Update

I've been kind of MIA recently. I haven't really done anything that's worth blogging about but here's an update anyway.

I've been working for a month and so far I love my job. I like pretty much everyone that I work with. We all give each other crap and it's so much fun! I like that I can dish out sarcasm and have it thrown right back at me. It keeps us all from going crazy. Sometimes the work gets tedious and sarcastic comments are a great way to lighten the mood. I also have to report that they have found me out at work. I tried to hide the fact that I'm gay because I wasn't sure how my co-workers would feel about it. Whenever I said anything about J in a conversation I avoided pronouns and eventually they caught on and asked me. J could be a boy's or girl's name so I just let them assume that J was a boy. I would talk about my ex J and my friend J as if they were two different people. One girl noticed that I never used pronouns when I talked about my ex J and apparently when I first started I let a 'her' slip out but ever since then I haven't used any pronouns. They figured it out on Friday. They're totally cool with it and of course they have to give me crap about it lol. I can't give you much information about what I do at work because we handle confidential information and I signed a confidentiality agreement. I can tell you that my department processes credit card applications, and claims for private dealer product rebates. I can't tell you what the products are or who our clients are.

J and I started talking again around my birthday in May. The whole silence thing lasted about 3 weeks. Needless to say, I wasn't the one who initiated the contact. She did. There was some texting going on about two weeks after we broke up but I told her that it was her idea not to talk and she needed to take responsibility for her choices. That silence lasted nine days. It was hard not talking to her at first but then I realized that having time apart was the best thing for us. I was reluctant to begin talking again but I decided to try it. So far it's been good. We did have a few spats at the beginning because honestly 3 weeks apart was not enough and I still had some choice words for her. After we got through that, things have been going pretty well. It's definitely not like it was before but I didn't expect it to be. Right now we are just texting and talking on the phone but the last phone call was about a month ago. I've found that it's easier to just let her come to me. If she wants to talk then I'll talk to her but I don't usually initiate the conversations. I hate her. I realized that a few weeks ago. There was one day that it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm over her, I hate her guts because she was mean to me in ways that were completely unneccesary, and right now I'm not interested in being friends. I wasn't sure if I would ever reach this point or feel this way but I'm glad that I do. I realized that our relationship was not good and I didn't do anything wrong to contribute to that. I can't be in a relationship with someone who wants to mother me more than she wants to be my equal, I can't be in a relationship with double standards, I can't be with someone who can't be honest with me because she's too afraid of hurting my feelings and I don't deserve to be a burden on her social life. I deserve better. I have notecards placed in my room that with that on them. They've been very helpful with getting me to believe that I do deserve better. J really is a good person and I know that she has good intentions but she doesn't always go about things in the right way. I don't hate her as a person, I hate her behavior. As a person she was always good enough for me but it seemed like she was never good enough for herself. When someone thinks that way they drag everyone else down with them whether they intend to or not.

I've learned alot more on my guitar. I'm working on Green Day's "Good Riddance" and it's coming along nicely. It's a super simple song and it's a great one for me to practice with switching chords. Once I get more strength and dexterity in my left hand I'll be rocking out to Taylor Swift and Kellie Pickler. If you want some great music to listen to after a break up Taylor and Kellie can definitely help with that.

Besides getting a job and some relationship drama my summer has been pretty low key. It has gone super fast since I've been working but I love the money. I wish that I could work more hours during school so I could afford to move out. I think I'm ready to be on my own but that's a long way off because I don't need the extra stress while I'm in school. I'm happy where I'm at. Free food and my own room are pretty great.

Ladybug

On Tuesday I got to enjoy my last day of freedom with my ladybug :)
Ladybug is my adorable 10 1/2 month old cousin, Laila. I just love her!
We went to the mall and walked around for a while. Well, I walked and ladybug rode in the janky stroller. Trying to turn with this stroller is easier said than done lol. I was going to let her play in the play area but when we walked by there were so many kids that I didn't feel comfortable having her play. We went to Barnes and Noble where I bought myself a book of guitar excercises. I've already learned the basics so I might as well start playing something that sounds like music. Up until now I've just been working on switching between chords so it doesn't really sound like much. I also bought the cute little ladybug page clips in the picture above.
After the mall we headed over to my house. I introduced ladybug to my outside kitty, Mittens. I wanted her to pet Mittens so I stroked her back to show her. Laila decided that her head seemed like a better idea so she just went for it and ended up basically smacking Mittens in the face. Poor Mittens! I showed her my inside kitty, Bitty. There is nothing bitty about this cat at all lol. She is enormous! I didn't bother to show Laila how to pet Bitty because once I put her on the floor Bitty cowered in the corner and hissed if Laila got too close. Bitty is a spoiled baby so if anyone or anything comes into her environment and hogs all of the attention she gets very defensive.

Laila's favorite thing to do was stand at the sliding glass door and bang on it while trying to get Mittens on the other side. She was so cute! My dad got a kick out of her banging on the glass and then screaming when she couldn't get the kitty on the other side. After our long day Ladybug was tired so I decided to take her home. She passed out in the car and when I got her home she was so out of it that she didn't recognize her mom. Lol. We had a wonderful day!

Earlier I mentioned that Tuesday was my last day of freedom. I say this because I GOT A JOB! I have been looking non-stop since I got out of school and have applied at so many different places. It really seemed like nobody was hiring. I had no luck. My mom was telling her friends about how I've been looking for a job and haven't found anything yet. One of her friends Lacey said that they needed help in her company and offered to help get me a job there. I went to the website she told me to go to and I had to submit a resume to apply for the job. I had a resume but I made it my senior year of highschool so I had some major updating to do. I updated the crap out of my resume and sent it in Sunday night. I didn't hear anything Monday, then Tuesday morning Lacey told me to call Human Resources so I did and the rep told me that since I know Lacey and they need a ton of help they wanted to go ahead and get me started that day. Well, I was watching Ladybug so I couldn't start Tuesday. I started today at 9am and filled out paperwork and then was introduced to the department I would be working in. I was busy all day long which is something that I need. I hate not having anything to do. I worked on alot of different things and it was alot to take in but it's not too hard once you get started. I'm considered part-time but I can work up to 35 hours a week. I could work four 8 1/2 hour days which is 34 hours or I could work five 7 hour days and get 35 hours. I chose to work the five 7 hour days so I can be more flexible with my schedule. I can go in early and get off early or I can go in late and get off late. Which ever I feel like doing. The four 8 1/2 hour days sounded pretty cool because I would get a day off during the week but my supervisor would get to pick which day and I would rather work short days than really long days. My mom suggested that I work 8:30 to 4:00 so I miss the rush hour traffic. I just want to work as many hours as I can during the summer so I can save up money before school starts. My hours are going to go down drastically in the fall because I'm really only available on Mondays and Fridays after 11:00 am. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I get out of school later so I would only be at work for maybe an hour. I'm planning on sticking around and making some money.

Sore Fingers

I have had my guitar for a week now and all I can say is OUCH! My fingertips on my left hand are super sore. It hurts to type, it hurts to touch the screen on my iTouch, it hurts to open a can of pop, and basically it hurts to do anything that requires the use of my fingertips. I keep telling myself that the pain is worth it. Eventually it wont hurt anymore and I'll be jamming on my guitar like there's nothing to it! But for now I can play for about an hour and then I have to give my fingers a break. I make sure that I sit down everyday and practice for at least 30 minutes.
I think I've come a long way in a week. I have been working on memorizing the shapes of chords and switching between them. Some switches are easier to make than others. I have also learned a few simple songs. I know how to play Frere Jacques, The Star-Spangled Banner, Happy Birthday and I can even play the intro line to Taylor Swift's "Tear Drops on My Guitar".
Today I bought thumbpicks and a capo(that's the bar thing that goes across the strings)with my birthday money. I love my thumbpicks! They make picking so much easier. Strumming is alot easier now too because my pick feels more stable. A thumbpick wraps around your thumb and to me if feels more stable than strumming with a flat pick.
I can't wait to get sheet music and really start playing!

Happy Birthday To Me!

I turned 20 today!!! I am no longer a teenager and have now started my 20s. Wow, I thought I was going to be a teenager forever... at least it seemed that way. I'm still not sure what to think. It hasn't quite sunk in that I am 20 years old.
I had a great birthday! My parents brought home my acoustic guitar last night!

I was awestruck. I have been waiting for this for years! I broke out the lesson dvd that came with it and started with the basics. I've learned a few chords. Now, I just have to practice switching between the chords when I play. I played for a little bit this morning but I had to stop because it was getting too painful. I couldn't press the string all the way down with my index finger. I will build up calluses eventually. I just have to keep telling myself that the pain is worth it.
I stayed up until midnight, mainly because I had a feeling that people were going to text me at midnight to wish me Happy Birthday. My feeling was right :) My Aunt and two of my friends texted me. People also wished me a Happy Birthday via facebook. My phone was going off like crazy today.
Around lunch time I went over to my bff A's house and we took a walk around Grays Lake. It was nice :) We had a picnic lunch and it was nice to be able to talk, just the two of us. She goes away for school so we have to take advantage of the time we have while she is here.
My birthday with the family started around 6 pm. My dad's parents came with an ice cream cake and my grandma's amazing potato salad. We grilled hamburgers, hotdogs and brats. We just kept everything low key. My 'older sister' L came as well :) L works with my mom. She calls her "Mom" and apparently she is the number 1 daughter lol. L is about 16 months older than me so she very well could be my sister. I like that we're 'fake sisters' because then I don't have to deal with the clothes stealing, the fighting and she doesn't live in my house lol. I like L but I don't know if I could share my house with another female besides my mom.

Here's me with my guitar and my Taylor Swift shirt! I can't wait til I get better and I can start playing songs!

Guitar Frustration

I want an acoustic guitar so freakin bad! I have wanted one for at least the last five years. Guitars are expensive and I know this but yet my brother got one for Christmas one year. I have been asking for a guitar and still have yet to get my wish.

My 20th birthday is on Wednesday May 19th and the only thing I asked for is an acoustic guitar. That's the only thing I can think of that I even want.
I'm serious about teaching myself how to play. I was in band for 8 years while in school and I miss music so much. I have a clarinet that sits in my closet because who wants to play a clarinet? It's not any fun and I would have to discipline myself to learn the fingerings all over again. I know I will get frustrated because I should know them. I haven't played clarinet since my junior year of High School in Marching Band. I played the Oboe in concert band. My senior year I played the bass drum so I haven't played my clarinet in a good three and a half years. You also can't sing while playing the clarinet which is one of my objectives while teaching myself to play the guitar.



I have a musical ear but it's out of practice. By listening and tuning my guitar I hope to be able to learn to control my voice better and hear the notes that I am singing.
I have a checklist that I used to determine whether this is something that I really want to do.
1) Ability to read music - Check
2) Guitar lesson book downloaded to Adobe Acrobat from iTunes - Check
3) Guitar chords from my fave songs copy and pasted into word documents - Check
4) Accepting the fact that the fingers on my left hand are going to hate me - Check
5) Guitar app on my iTouch to practice for the real thing - Check
6) Getting frustrated that the screen on my iTouch is too small for chords - Check
7) Knowing what notes the open strings are (EADGBE) - Check
8) Listening to songs that I like and trying to memorize the rhythms - Check
9) Thinking that Taylor Swift playing a 12 string guitar is pretty BA - Check
10)Been inspired to play by Taylor Swift from the first moment I saw her - Check



Now all I need to do is go shopping for my guitar. I hope that time is VERY VERY SOON!!! I've been waiting for this for years.

How far is too far?

This group of 8 and 9 year-old girls are no doubt great dancers but the choice of revealing costumes and provocative dance moves has me questioning whether their parents saw the routine before it was presented at competition. Some of them I'm sure would not be too keen on letting their daughter participate in a dance routine that is totally inappropriate for her age group.



Sound off in the comments below. How far is too far?

A story about this dance routine was run on Entertainment Tonight. Their parents and a representative all said that the moves these girls were doing are legit dance moves. I don't doubt that but the moves featured at 1:45 all the way to the end were far too mature for this age group, in my opinion.